I spent the better part of last weekend wrestling with refrigerators. My blood is on the bannister to prove it. I won eventually, me and three strong, smart Mexican men. (Of course, I had asked to see their papers.)

My wife wanted to replace our old refrigerator with another old refrigerator. She had her way, naturally.

By Sunday evening the new old fridge was humming reassuringly. The next day, I opened its door to get something. “Stop it,” said my wife, “some refrigerators are for men and women, this one is only for women.”

Would I make this up? Do I even have the talent?