1. How to reduce absenteeism by monitoring the help instead of maybe abusing it less.

2. The Great Australian Sickie: “People taking a sickie are more reluctant to fake it to a kindly nurse on the other end of the phone line.”

If you’re thinking that of course you wouldn’t fake it with an Australian nurse, remember:

3. Men can be nurses, too.  See also Exhibit 3B.

4. Another reason not to give your son the middle name of Lynn. Some of this stuff just can’t be made up: “On March 2, 2005, the Park City council terminated Rader’s employment for failure to report to work or to call in.”

Because RULES. But it’s fitting. Rader has always believed in them, at once too much and too little.

5. Don’t believe me? Ask my buddy Kasper. D. Lynn Rader is much more of a model prisoner than some of my people are. The Roths left some real scuzzies behind.