The Almost Turk and the Jew

Note to my overseas readers: Recently a bright woman who has her own show on a television network reputed to be conservative stated in a sarcastic manner that Santa Claus is white and so is Jesus. “Live with it,” she added meanly. The liberal media have been in a rage ever since. They don’t quite know how to accuse others of racism toward a person (Santa ) who may not exist. Below is my own poisonous contribution.

I see no reason to compromise in the current culture war (“Kulturkampf“): Santa Claus is obviously white because he comes from pre-Turkish Asia Minor where everyone was white. Santa was almost a Turk, just a little too early, that’s all. Along the way, he got redesigned in Bavaria, white too. Jesus was also white although he looked suspiciously Jewish. I mean by “white” that both would have easily sat in the front of the bus in Alabama in 1950. Now, to be fair, one of the magi (so-called “wise men”) visiting the baby Jesus from Persia may have been black, as in “African.” Go figure!

And no, he was not depicted as a servant as a way to demean people with sub-Saharan African ancestry. Don’t even go there! He was one of the “rois-mages” in French; that means “king.” That’s all there is to it. In fact, I am pretty sure he brought baby Jesus gold as a gift. Not bad!

In my view, if other racial groups want to claim either a Santa or a Jesus, they will have to invent their own. I look forward to an Asian fat man who brings presents, for example. (But what will he ride?) And we could easily use another Savior, perhaps a girl with African features. They are all welcome to borrow both Santa and Jesus in the meantime but they may not (NOT) change their identity by force. (When your neighbor lends you his plate, you are not supposed to paint it over.)

6 thoughts on “The Almost Turk and the Jew”

  1. “In my view, if other racial groups want to claim either a Santa or a Jesus, they will have to invent their own.”

    Lol. Dr. P has become a caricature of the internet crank.

    In your next post give us more info; Does Santa really keep a list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice? Has Santa been working with the NSA?

    When did Nikolaos of Myra change his name to Santa Claus? When did he start wearing a red costume? I don’t think reindeer are natural to Turkey, did he pick them up on the way to the North Pole?

    After the Christmas season is over, I’ll have questions about the Easter Bunny.

  2. All good questions, Prof. Terry.

    Nik of Myra never changed his name. He is proud of his rep. South Germans heard of him and began telling his story to their children in a primitive sort of motivationist program. The same program degenerated after a couple hundred years into the widespread childish belief that government owes adults presents and that it actually delivers presents.

    The south Germans couldn’t spell worth s…. They called him “Nicholaus” by mistake. It got worse when the lazy Dutch shortened it to “Claus.” In an astounding feat of mistransliteration, it became in French: “Pere Noel.” French cultural imperialism led to a situation where many nations adopted their mistake, hence, “Baba Noel” in mostly Muslim Iran (even though that country is close to Asia Minor, the birthplace of Old Nik, and thus it should have been easy to check the facts.)

    All the nations that use Mr Claus to motivate their children but two hatched a general vague idea that they are owed just for not having been very bad. It’s called the “welfare state.” They also share in the belief that the presents they receive do not cost anybody anything. The two exceptions are Iran, which developed the Islamic Republican version: The mullahs kill you or send you to jail and they take your goods, and the USA where many people still believe that there is no free lunch. As I write, this belief is under severe attack in the latter country by a religious leader . (He is a particularly devious avatar of Santa since he is slim and has African features.)

    Both old Nik and his copy, Santa, always wore red; that’s a historical fact. The reindeer are just a mistake. They are purely an invention of some graduates of an American elite school who confused Ba-va-ria with Fin-land because they sound the same.

    I am not willing to answer the question about NSA and Santa because I fear the current Democrat apparatus of repression.

    Does Santa really keep a list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice?

    You’d better believe it and you will very soon get confirmation. And don’t cry; be a man.

    So much to teach and so little time! Well, I will keep doing my best.

    1. Given the season, I believe that you should continue your work as our resident expert on fictional characters with an examination of the downfall of Ebenezer Scrooge. Last night I saw the version of A Christmas Carol that I like best [Alistair Sim as Scrooge].

      I hesitate to ask because I know that this much be a painful story for you. At the beginning you have the ultimate teapublican:

      “First Collector: At this festive time of year, Mr. Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute.
      Ebenezer: Are there no prisons?
      First Collector: Plenty of prisons.
      Ebenezer: And the union workhouses – are they still in operation?
      First Collector: They are. I wish I could say they were not.
      Ebenezer: Oh, from what you said at first I was afraid that something had happened to stop them in their useful course. I’m very glad to hear it.
      First Collector: I don’t think you quite understand us, sir. A few of us are endeavoring to buy the poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth.
      Ebenezer: Why?
      First Collector: Because it is at Christmastime that want is most keenly felt, and abundance rejoices. Now what can I put you down for?
      Ebenezer: Huh! Nothing!
      Second Collector: You wish to be anonymous?
      Ebenezer: [firmly, but calmly] I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish sir, that is my answer. I help to support the establishments I have named; those who are badly off must go there.
      First Collector: Many can’t go there.
      Second Collector: And some would rather die.
      Ebenezer: If they would rather die they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”

      We then see the overnight corruption of Scrooge into a non-maximizer of shareholder wealth; a boss who pays a wage above subsistence level; and worst of all a profligate who fosters a culture of dependency by giving food to the poor.

      You’re uniquely positioned to tell us where Ebenezer went wrong and to properly denounce Dickens.

      1. @Brandon
        Merry Christmas to you as well!

        Of course I’m aware of the straw man fallacy; I’ve learned a few things from Jacques after all these years ;)

  3. “I am not willing to answer the question about NSA and Santa because I fear the current Democrat apparatus of repression.”

    As well you should. The Obama administration makes Cheney and his thugs look like pikers in comparison.

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